Taking advantage of a shortened school day today (caused accidentally by an accidental computer glitch in scheduling), angry schoolchildren in Serbia took to the streets to protest latest climate change hijinks.
“This is outrageous,” commented one fifth grader. “It’s hot, it’s cold, it’s mild, it’s windy, it’s rainy, it’s dry. Come on, climate change, make up your mind!”
Older students with a penchant for fashion carried plaques with statements such as “Climate Change Is Evil” and “Climate Change You Are The Devil.”
One high schooler said, “I never know what to wear in the morning this time of year. It’s a wonder I even make it to school at all. Decisions are hard to make in this day and age, and when climate change conspires against you, it’s damn near impossible.”
Girl’s boyfriend, student of same school and hopeful of becoming a scientist for CERN one day, said, “Yeah, what she said!”
Climate change has been messing up Serbia for years. First it was four seasons that kept switching every 3-4 months. Winter sport enthusiasts from around the world, outraged by this inconsistency of weather, commented, “There is no chance to ski in Serbia 12 months each year. You’re lucky if you get 4, maybe 5 months of good snow cover.”
Beachgoers flocking to Serbia’s sandy shores snapped, “Summer lasts a mere 4-5 months in the Balkans, followed by a picturesque autumn, with no way of knowing when the damn thing will be over. It could last for 2, 3, maybe even 4 months. Forget it, beach holidays aren’t worth it there, better book Seychelles next time.”
Recently, the disturbing trend of four seasons was interrupted by another season some have called “Indian summer,” though there is no evidence the thing was imported from India at all.
Lasting for weeks, Indian summer disrupted Serbia’s economy in 2018, deeply disturbing the government and causing world economists, investors, and bankers to worry, “Is the place worth the risk? It’s like throwing good money after bad there. Why can’t the current administration do something about this weather?!”
This spring, the climate change threw yet another curveball–a string of warm days that lured gardeners and grandmothers out of doors and fooled them into planting early flowers and mending their vegetable patches after the ravages of a harsh winter that saw lows as low as -2 decrees Centigrade.
The warmth was then followed by rain and a drop in temperature that caused much confusion and disturbed above mentioned fashion-loving children.
Indeed, we ask the world’s scientists–if you cannot fix this weather in Serbia, how are we to know what to wear in the morning? And worse, if we need bring an umbrella, a straw hat, or a tent?
Today’s protest by schoolchildren was supported by the National Association of People for a Better Tomorrow, as well as the Federation of Book Lovers, Bookkeepers, and Bookbinders.
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