On Shopping, Fashion, and Old People

Few tasks in life have the power to annoy me like shopping for clothes. The chore is so unpleasant. I really do not grasp how some people, mostly women I think, can spend a considerable portion of their life thinking about it, doing it, and the worst thing of all, after doing it talking about …

Man From Serbia Gets Caught Between The Moon and New York City

Literally!

Angry Schoolchildren in Serbia Protest Climate Change, Angrily

Taking advantage of a shortened school day today (caused accidentally by an accidental computer glitch in scheduling), angry schoolchildren in Serbia took to the streets to protest latest climate change hijinks. "This is outrageous," commented one fifth grader. "It's hot, it's cold, it's mild, it's windy, it's rainy, it's dry. Come on, climate change, make …

Serbian Man Discovers World’s Smallest Desert In Own Backyard

World's smallest desert, measuring just 1 meter by 1 meter, was discovered today by a Serbian man from Bajina Basta, located in the country's picturesque Western section. "I walked out, and there was this stunning pile of sand, stretching as far as the eye could see," said the man to a local newspaper early this …

Study Shows: Serbian Couples Successfully Delay Divorce Until Kids Old Enough To File For Retirement

Recent study, published this week in Serbian Journal of Family Behavior and Gardening, showed most couples successfully delay divorce until their children are ready to face it. For many, "ready to face it" also coincides with "ready to file for retirement." One participant, a 69-year-old from the nation's capital, said, "I'm finally ready to put …

Serbian Space Agency Ready for First Manned Mission to Mars

Elon Musk eat you heart out! Ditto, NASA! Serbian Space Agency announced today they are ready to launch the first manned mission to Mars in 2014! The announcement came five years later than intended, but as one official commented, "better later than never." Well said, sir! Serbian Space Agency has confirmed their manned mission to …

Lawn Mowing Season–and World Championship–Opens in Serbia Despite Near Fatal Nasal Accident

Lawn moving season opened today in Serbia with a big bang. Literally. Big BANG! Marko Markovic, last year's national grass-cutting champ, blew off his nose while starting his newly improved lawn mover, powered by moss and used tissue paper. Mr. Markovic, architect by trade and grass-cutting fiend by choice, believes in a greener way to …

Undercover

As a boy, Big Mouth loved dressing up in his sisters' clothes. Big Mouth's childhood and adolescence resembled a Charles Aznavour song. He lived in a very old house with a crumbling façade and dirty windows. There were no trees in his street, just street lamps that blinked in and out all night and made …

Innocent

Innocent works hard for her money. She works hard for it, but she doesn't look for clients on poorly lit street corners. Clients find Innocent online. It starts as a straightforward exchange of information, and it's up to Innocent to decide whether a client is someone just looking for a little love or a potential …

The Letter

Tall Thing is dying. Like the wet November day outside her window, she's dying slowly and sadly. Tall Thing isn't dying of a terminal disease. She's dying of terminal dishonesty by her husband of almost seventeen years. On Friday morning, while she busied herself around the house with small tasks that are now her main …