Who inspires you? And why?

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After days of terrible heat, with a nasty haze I’ve always hated draped over the sky like an ugly old dirty curtain, the weather changes abruptly with a delicious cool wind blowing hard from the Alps, I think. Yeah, the Alps, that’s it; they must be close to where I am.

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Fertilized by lies, I grew into a cynical plant

I’m surprised I’m still alive. I should have died…I don’t know, at least a dozen times by now. I grew up with parents who taught me an important lesson, driven into the deepest recesses of my brain every single day during that crucial morning time when I struggled to hurriedly lace up my shoes and make it to school before the first bell. That lesson was: be afraid.

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Google Translate: foreign language for everyone!

If you haven’t noticed yet, I am bilingual. Now, for some of you fluent only in the language in which I am writing these words, my condition may seem like something simply AWESOME. Thank you, you can stop applauding me now. Yes, yes, I’m fantastic, I know. But seriously, stop, you’re making me blush.

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A simple guide for knowing when to die

I’m concerned about the human race. I’m concerned about the race as a whole and, more importantly, I’m concerned about certain individual specimens of our race. My concern rest mainly in the following area. It appears to me that some very old creatures formerly known as humans no longer possess that natural ability of all living things—to die—having replaced all of their mortal parts with plastic and/or carbon fiber.

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